Hey, what a nice potting bench! We can use it to keep the plants away from those singing chipmunks.
You know, when I bought this Merry Products Simple Potting Bench, I thought it would just be a nice way to pretty up my back yard as I enjoyed the sounds of nature. Then I found out that nature is full of sounds I don't want to hear. Like these singing chipmunks that live under the tree over there.
Oh, don't get me wrong. It would be super nice to use this Merry Products Potting Bench all day, were I in a yard full of birds and sun and the sound of wind over the grass. And it would also be pretty okay if the chipmunks sang some standard pop songs or maybe some '50s style nightclub hits. But these damn chipmunks, for some reason, are REALLY into avant-garde Japanese screamo punk. And they practice incessantly! They don't seem to sleep! Oh, their high little voices tear my soul apart every time they screech out another twenty bars of madness, leaving me in tears in front of my plants.
So what choice did I have? I started work as their manager! I figure the sooner I make them rich, the sooner they'll get poached by CAA and get the Hell out of my backyard.