Today's Woot Write-up

Cobia XL Pool Cleaner cleans regardless of how clean a life its owner leads.

Hello, Cobia support? Hey, yeah, I was just calling because I have a quick question about your product, the Cobia XL Pool Cleaner. Yeah, so I know that it cleans pools in the traditional sense, but what about the abstract? Like, can it remove the filth of moral indiscretions? Just to clarify: not mine. My girlfriend's.

Okay, yeah, yeah. I understand that Cobia stands for Chlorine On Board Integrated Automation and that it uses a compact electrolytic cell to make chlorine from chloride that's already in the pool. But that's not what I'm asking; I want to know how it works on the residue of adultery...

What's my name? Why's that important?! Oh, you just want to know what you can call me. Sure. Um... Rober- Actually, let's go with Bob. Pattin... um... fun. Bob Pattinfun. That's me.

So, anyway, I'm not really interested in how the titanium plates inside this thing work. I don't care that it will do its thing on it its own, nor do I care that its multi-function user interface will tell me when salt levels are too low or too high.

Can I level with you here: I don't even live there anymore. The place with the pool? I just moved out a few days ago. And even when I did live there, I used it maybe twice. In fact, I barely go outside at all. For my job, it's best that I get as little sun as possible.

And Kris- I mean, my girlfriend? I'm not even sure if she's committed any unfaithful acts in the pool, but she might've. So that's why I'm asking if the pool could be teaming with lies, or does the Cobia take care of that stuff? You know, for... um... real estate value stuff.

NO! I ALREADY TOLD YOU MY NAME! I'M NOT GOING TO REPEAT IT!

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Cobia XL Pool Cleaner

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Cobia XL Pool Cleaner
$749.99 In Stock Home & Garden
$749.99 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 3
Woot! Tools.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.