Today's Woot Write-up

Reporters leap to their feet as the President enters and walks to the lectern.

"Mister President! Mister President!"

"Yes, Ed."

"Can you comment on the recent hit you've taken in approval ratings?"

"Look ... uhh ... times are tough. Difficult decisions have had to be made, and I more than expect public sentiment to reflect that. Yes, Catalina."

"Mister President, what's your reaction to accusations from members of congress that you've taken on a number of extra-constitutional powers?"

"Well, Catalina, I'd say they're right."

Gasps from the crowd of journalists.

"You see, I've recently signed an executive order. And what I ordered was this ... "

From behind the lectern, the President produces a Mobile Power 2032 Boost 200 Jump Starter.

"I can use this puppy to jumpstart my car, light a patio party, use it to inflate an oversized pool mattress ..."

"Mister President, your critics have claimed that the executive branch now wields more power than any time in history."

"That's right, Megan, up to 600 amps worth."

"Mister President, some are saying that it's a gross misuse of the office to jumpstart the presidential limo without congressional approval."

"I, uhh ..."

"Mister President, what about claims that your administration is engaging in patiopartisanship?"

"Well, Michael, I ..."

"Mister President, the esteemed Senator from Texas has stated that oversized inflatable pool mattresses aren't in the Constitution. Your response?"

"This press conference is over."

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