Chainsaws aren't scary. They're useful! Chainsaws are our friends.
Around this time of year chainsaws get a bad reputation for being scary. Do screwdrivers face that? Or wrenches? Or even the simple level? And yet, all these items are tools, aren't they? It's just that one is louder than the rest. And also has its name in a movie. That's why we want you to do two things. First, buy a chainsaw. And second, petition Hollywood to start work on a movie called The Texas Level Massacre. It's only fair, after all, that other tools get to be scary too.