Sorry, Your Majesty

Happy 4th Of July! Unless you're George III, King Of Great Britain and Ireland from 1760 - 1820, more or less.

And this one is Thomas Jefferson! Hello, Tom!

fssss

And here, this one is John Adams! What a delightful fellow!

fssss

"Um, pardon my, Your Majesty, but-"

-but you wanted to know what I was out here by my Hiland Faux Stone Firepit Table with a handful of ice cubes? George Washington.

fssss

"Well, that and where you got ice cubes from. They aren't really around until the late 19th Century."

Oh, a King has his ways. Button Gwinnett.

fssss

"I say, aren't those the names of the colonists?"

That's right. Those terrible treasonous colonists. I'm pretending these ice cubes are their stupid colonist faces and hurling them into the 30,000 BTU fire pit. Like this one here, this one is John Jay. Take that, John Jay!

fssss

"Your Majesty, I'm not sure that's good for the fire pit."

OH I SEE I GUESS EVERYBODY'S GOING TO REBEL AGAINST THE KING TODAY HUH

"That's not actually what I meant-"

NO NO IT'S FINE JUST GO AHEAD WHY DON'T YOU DUMP SOME TEA ALL OVER MY 24 INCH HIGH FIRE PIT TABLE WHILE YOU'RE AT IT

"I can tell you're having a tough time of it, Your Majesty. Maybe I'll just-"

See this? See this ice cube? Take a good hard look at it. Know what that ice cube is? Huh? Do ya? Do ya know?

"Is that, um... is that me?"

fsssss

"Very good, Your Majesty. I'll just leave you to it then."

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Features

Hey! HEY! IT'S IMPORTANT YOU READ THIS! This Patio Heater require fuel, so it can't be returned to Woot. Don't say we didn't warn you. But you are still covered by the Manufacturer for warranty claims. We have enough broken crap around here, we don't need yours cluttering up the place.
  • 24 inch high fire pit table
  • 30,000 BTUs
  • 40" x 40" x 24"
  • 100 pounds
  • Lava rock included

Shipping Note: Shipping to Alaska, Hawaii, PO Boxes and APO addresses not available for this item

Warranty: 1 Year AZ Patio

Specs

In the Box:

  • (1) Hiland FPT-2FX Faux Stone Firepit Table with Wood Finish Top

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
1h 53m 52.992s
First Sucker:
csaburi
Last Wooter to Woot:
berdjmk

Purchaser Experience

  • 23% first woot
  • 6% second woot
  • 15% < 10 woots
  • 20% < 25 woots
  • 36% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 21% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 0% one month old
  • 8% one year old
  • 70% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 100% bought 1
  • 0% bought 2
  • 0% bought 3

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

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1%
0%
0%
0%
0%
1%
8%
8%
11%
6%
4%
6%
9%
6%
5%
6%
5%
5%
3%
0%
8%
5%
3%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

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Firepit Table with Wood Finish Top
$299.99 Sold Out Home & Garden
$299.99 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 3
Woot! Tools.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.