Two items. One bag. No crap. All random. HURRY UP.

STOP. LOOK. REASON. This is not that other thing. There's no question mark and no crappy name. This is a RANDOM TOOL GRAB-BAG. It's IMPORTANT. Things are DIFFERENT here.

In this sale, you'll be getting two items, and one tool bag. The items might be tool-like. They might also be a plastic fork and a trash bag. WE CANNOT SAY BECAUSE WE AREN'T SURE. DON'T FLIP OUT AND CALL OUR DAD IF THEY'RE NOT THE TOOLS YOU MOST WANT IN THE WORLD BECAUSE THAT IS THE RISK YOU TAKE WITH BUYING AT RANDOM.

That having been said, we've tried to make sure you'll be getting something nice. And that something nice will probably arrive in separate shipments, so don't freak out when Thing One arrives before Thing Two but after The Bag Thing. That's only to be expected. Why? Because it's NOT the other item we're known for! Really! We can't stress that enough! It's a Random Tool Grab-Bag!

Of course, if you wanna lie about it, to impress your friends and act like you won a Bag of- um, the other thing, then sure! Go ahead! Whatever makes you happy. Just please, please, please don't think that's what you're actually getting.

This is a Random Tool Grab-Bag. Period. End of story. That's all she wrote.

We hope that's clear enough.

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