Before buying, make sure you know your ham needs. This won't make a good stew.

"Ham's all like 'oink oink', but you know what? Unlike turkey, ham doesn't even have wings!"

"Ham's all 'Ooooooo, I'm bacon, so everybody loves me', but you know what ham can't do? Be filet mignon!"

"The other day I was making chicken noodle soup, and I looked at my ingredients and saw that I had chicken, noodles, and ham. You know what I didn't put in? Ham! Because it's chicken noodle soup."

"What did one piece of ham say to the other piece of ham? 'I wish I was beef!' Get it?"

I have no idea what you're talking about.

"C'mon, man. I'm practicing for the Ham Mock. It's a Double Ham Mock this year, so I need to be extra prepared."

You mean this Vivere Double Hammock with Space-Saving Steel Stand? That's a hammock, Bruce. Like a place you sit in.

"But when am I gonna mock ham, then?"

You'll have to find some other time.

"Can I mock ham from a hammock?"

I guess so...

"Yes!"

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