Cel-O-Brate Manure!
THE HOLY CRAP COMMANDMENTS v5.0 I.Thou shalt expect nothing beyond ONE bag of some kind and THREE crappy items. II. Thou shouldst expect not to even get a Bag o’ Crap at all. III. Thou shalt notice that “crap” is right there in the title and not complain when it turns out we were telling the truth.