Two things we know for sure about the Founding Fathers: they approved of freedom, and they would have LOVED to own a sweet chainsaw.

Go on, look at any list of the patriots who first began this great nation of ours. Try to find ONE who wouldn't be interested in a chainsaw. Just ONE. Because you WON'T. They would have tripped all over each other running to test this thing out.

John Adams? Yeah, whatever. He'd have been all over the comfortable handle. John Hancock? See how fast he'd carve his big-ass name into every tree in Monticello until Jefferson came out and told him to leave. Benjamin Franklin? Please! He'd be all "early to bed, early to rife, becaufe I want to fpend all day with that chainfaw!"

And don't forget about Caesar Rodney (guys named Caesar are cool, of course he'd love a chainsaw), Samuel Adams (a guy who makes beer is a guy who'll start a chainsaw, PERIOD), and Oliver Woolcot (notorious daydreamer and chainsaw visionary). Even Button Gwinnett - ESPECIALLY Button Gwinnett - would have waited in line all day, just for the chance to chop a log with this baby right here.

This 4th of July, please remember: not one of the men who made this country great would have turned down a chance to fire up a chainsaw. God. Bless. America.

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