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Your dad. A warm, masculine wall of inscrutability. Make him happy, maybe he'll finally appreciate your worth. This year, give Dad something from our "Buy Your Father's Love" event, and you'll see how easy it is to hear those three little words every child longs to hear: "Nice gift. Thanks."
If you were thrown into a pit full of angry sharks, and the sharks had swords, and the swords were lasers, and your dad had a suit of laser-proof anti-shark armor, he'd almost certainly run in and save you. That's what love is REALLY about, right?