Miracle-Gro All Purpose Plant Food Plant 6PK

I’ve purchased and used Miracle-Gro all-purpose plant food a handful of times in my life, noticed casually along the way that a lot of people swear by it, and simply assumed myself (without honestly any evidence either for or against) that it was a reasonably good and effective product. But now that I buy my first package of the product in some years, from Amazon, I feel more like I’ve entered into a cult than simply purchased some plant food. I do still think that Miracle-Gro is most likely a good, effective, and competitive product. I base this in large part on its published nutrient analysis. However, now that I look, I find it most terribly, conspicuously lacking in both (1) any actual evidence that it is actually a good, effective product, and (2) any real, useful instructions on how to use it on shrubs and trees, or on any larger, outdoor plant or planting area. Among the company’s website, and its customer service staff, and the Amazon user community of literally well over a hundred thousand Amazon reviewers of this product in its various formats, almost all of whom say they are super satisfied, I can nonetheless find exactly, only one source, one single reviewer out of way over a hundred thousand, giving any real reason at all to believe that this product does any good whatsoever - a single reviewer saying that he left the plant food off of one plant and it grew less well. Not that that’s any big surprise or accomplishment! That would be true, for example, of almost any organic waste product used as fertilizer. But at least it’s some, very meager, actual evidence that Miracle-Gro actually helps some - which is more evidence than the company or the other hundred-thousand-plus reviewers/acolytes seem to have. And apparently neither the company, nor any one at all of its hundred-thousand-plus user/reviewers, has actually performed the further but still-super-simple test of comparing this product in use to any of the dozens of other plant foods on the market. On exactly what basis then are the hundred-thousand 5-star reviewers of this product so happy with it? Why do they not think, just for one competitive example, that Burpee-brand all-purpose plant food might do substantially better for them? Really, why? To be fair, my own ultra-cursory numerical analysis/comparison suggests that Miracle-Gro might actually be a fairly effective and cost-competitive fertilizer product. So, in the absence of any better data, I’m buying it and using it. But sure the heck wondering why, for what reason, on what basis, the other hundred thousand of you, all around me, are using it? Maybe because it’s such a pretty sparkly blue color? Then there’s the question of proper application rate and method of this product to shrubs and trees, or on any larger, outdoor plant or planting area. This is, after all, claimed to be “all purpose” plant food, good for plants explicitly including trees and shrubs. But the application instructions, while barely serviceable for potted plants, don’t hardly address larger, outdoor plants. They tell you in how much water to dilute the product - and then leave you essentially on your own to guess how much to apply to the plant(s). For a potted plant, you might just water the plant with the fertilizer solution in a watering can as you would do with plain water, and hope that that’s somehow a good amount. But for a larger, outdoor, in-ground plant, like a bush or shrub or tree, even that guess just doesn’t work, simply doesn’t apply - nobody really waters trees and bushes with a watering can, it’s not practical. The Miracle-Gro instructions for outdoor plants actually say: “Mix 1-1/2 tablespoons in 1-1/2 gallons of water in a watering can and soak the soil at the base of the plants.” Beyond the gratuitous grade-school exercise in fractions arithmetic - how much is “soak the soil at the base of the plants?” How much of the solution is that per tree or per square foot or whatever? If you think you know what that means - then I think you’re imagining things! Numbers of folks suggest answering this question by using the Miracle-Gro sprayer. That’s fine if you want to buy and use their sprayer. I myself just want to buy the fertilizer, mix it with some water in a big container, and pour it out around the plants, maybe with some more water sprayed on top of that. Somebody please tell me how already! I looked on the Miracle-Gro website for more on how to apply their product to outdoor plants. Nothing. Then I called Miracle-Gro customer service. I got only ignorant, stupid, unhelpful, rude people, who obviously knew nothing about the product and had never used it themselves, just reciting to me from cheat-sheets that had no more info. than what little is on the product container. When I asked please to speak with somebody there who actually knew about their product, who might even have actually used it themselves, they repeatedly called me rude and hung up on me! For comparison, here is the relevant portion of the instructions from Burpee’s all-purpose plant food: “Trees and shrubs: apply 1/4 cup for plants with a 2 foot diameter canopy. Increase rates by 1/4 cup for every additional 6 inches of canopy spread. Apply at planting, or in the spring and fall for established trees and shrubs.” Wow, imagine that!, real instructions! If only Miracle-Gro could imagine that. As a near-final resort, I used Amazon’s Q&A function to ask what rate/quantity of this product to use outdoors. I got 4 answers, including one from the manufacturer, of which 3 again, including the manufacturer’s, did not answer the question. Only one person, Gerald Leach, very kindly answered the question, said “I use a half gallon of pre-mixed Miracle-Gro on each bush and they all turn out great.” I don’t find the answer very compelling, but at least it’s some straight answer to my very straight question, thanks very much sincerely to Mr. Leach. Finally, forced by Miracle-Gro’s lack of useful information, I made up my own formula for using their product on larger, outdoor plants, and larger, outdoor areas. Here’s how I figured - or guessed: Their basic approach seems to be to mix one tablespoon of Miracle-Gro per gallon of water and soak the ground with that. I dunno’, but I’m guessing that “soak” might mean say a 1/2 inch depth of their fertilizer solution over the ground, like a moderate, 1/2 inch rain. Per 100 square feet of ground, that works out to 100 square feet x 1/2 inch, or about 4 cubic feet, or 32 gallons, of that (hypothetical) solution - thus containing 32 tablespoons of Miracle-Gro, or about 16 ounces, around one pint or one pound of Miracle-Gro, per 100 square feet. I’m ignoring Miracle-Gro’s prescribed dilution rules (which were effectively useless anyway), am simply dissolving the calculated amount of Miracle-Gro in some water in a watering can or bucket or any convenient container just for the purpose of spreading it out fairly uniformly over the relevant ground area, then spraying it down with water from a garden hose to wash it off the vegetation (so it won’t burn) and down onto the ground. After that it’s welcome to migrate its way further down into the ground whenever rain or watering happens, no big rush. To recap my formula: Spread 16 ounces (one pound) of Miracle-Gro, dissolved in water, per 100 square feet, and hose it down. And repeat say twice a year, spring and fall. That’s all my best guess, anyway. If you have a better guess - well, great, why didn’t you tell us a decade or two ago?! Based largely on Miracle-Gro’s nutrient analysis, I still reckon that it’s probably a reasonably good and cost-effective product. But no thanks to Miracle-Gro for any further evidence of that. And no thanks to Miracle-Gro for their substantial lack of decent instructions on how to use their product. And for their rude, useless customer service. Accordingly, I think I’m being generous in rating their product here 3 stars. But congratulations to Miracle-Gro on building such an enormous cult following all based on essentially no evidence or support. Next time I’ll probably try Burpee, how much worse could it be? At least they have real instructions.