Don't think of him as a Blue Rhino Standup Charcoal Grill. Think of him as a Blue Rhino Improv Actor Charcoal Grill.

Listen, when I was in college, okay, sure. I did a little standup like everybody else. But very quickly I learned that I wasn't gonna be happy with a marquee that read "The comedy stylings of Blue Rhino Standup Charcoal Grill, two drink minimum."

But with my pedigree? With a 207 square inch/12 burger cooking surface? I wasn't going to just sit back and be some goofy prop comic. Nothing against them, you know, they've got their thing. But me? I was going to be a major talent with my porcelain-coated steel-hinged locking lid! And that's why I moved myself to the glorious world of long-form improv.

For example, where a Standup Charcoal Grill I would only be able to, say, function on a patio outdoors, as a Long-Form Improv Charcoal Grill, I could use my ability to transform that patio into a 14th Century Martian Palace! Both in Earth years AND Martian years! Maybe I could make you laugh, or cry, or discover some truth about yourself that you didn't recognize before through the subtle application of my bottom storage shelf!

I've also got this bit where people pull words out of a hat and I free associate with mime. Oh, you'd just LOVE it! Try to get some standup to manage THAT! I'm telling you, art is about growth, not about a six minute set on airplane peanuts.

Nothing personal to the comedians, of course. That's great if that's all you can do. But I'm a grill with a talent. And it would be wrong for me to deny that talent to the world.

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