No, you're not seeing things. Out of our desperate attempt to be rich love for giving you options, we've added a little something extra for today. Come on in and check it out!

Yes, the common household smoke alarm (beepimus annoyius) DOES have a bad habit of going off every time you forget to clean the oven. And the common household smoke alarm WILL decide to warn you the battery's low at about 3:30 AM without fail. So why do we put up with this little monster of technology? Easy. Because the alternative's a lot worse.

Face it, consumer-friends. All the stuff you love the most is flammable. Your money, your records, your collection of paper cranes soaked in gasoline, they're all doomed the second a fire creeps around the door to the crane-a-torium. The only way to sleep soundly (until the battery starts to die, at least) is to buy as many of these First Alert Smoke Alarm three-packs as you can and put them all around your house so that, whatever happens, you'll get a loud warning beep and a clear escape light to help you see through the smoke.

The smoke, we hope, that doesn't ever exist.

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