In the very best houses, one will find a footman, a doorman, and a chainsaw butler.

"Jeeves, that tree over there, do you see it? I think it might be blocking the summer sun, what do you think?"

I think sir is quite right indeed. It'll only take me a moment with my Homelite 42cc 16-inch Gas Chain Saw.

"Good man."

VRRRRRZZZZZZZzzzzz

"Ah, yes, there's Apollo's Chariot in all it's glory. Feel that vitamin D, eh?"

Sir, if you'll pardon me, I believe that fireplace of yours is could burn a bit brighter.

"Hmm, it is low, isn't it? Well, Jeeves, there's only one thing for it, eh, old boy?"

The wardrobe again, sir?

"Most assuredly. Sacrifices must be made. For the greater good!"

For the greater good, sir.

VRRRRRZZZZZZZzzzzz

"Nice and toasty now, isn't it, Jeeves? Say, what's for lunch?"

Turkey, sir. Would you care to carve?

"Not I, Jeeves. Wouldn't be proper. A man of my standing? Best use the Homelite, I think."

Quite right, sir, quite right. Allow me.

VRRRRRZZZZZZZzzzzz

"Jeeves, you enjoy your job, don't you? You and your Homelite 42cc 16-inch Gas Chain Saw would never... well, you'd never go to some other manor, would you?"

Oh, sir, how could you even ask me that? To be your chainsaw butler... it's a sacred trust, sir! I would no sooner leave you than I would cut your wooden bed in half!

"Fine man, fine, fine, fine man."

Indeed, sir.

"Mind you, it would be pretty cool to use that Homelite 38cc 16-inch Gas Chain Saw on the bed."

Indeed, sir. Shall I?

"Oh, let's. Let's!"

VRRRRRZZZZZZZzzzzz

"Haw haw haw haw haw! Jolly good, Jeeves! Jolly bloody good!"

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