THE WICKER CHAIR

Maybe the Nick Cage remake of The Wicker Man would've received better reviews if it had been about wicker furniture.

On a mysterious island, arrives a man, a detective from the mainland, searching for furniture that had recently gone missing ... reportedly on this island.

Needing a place to start his investigation, the man takes a seat at a local lunch spot. A small waiter appears and hands the man a menu, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Do you have any recommendations?" the man says.

"You're not from around here, are you?" the waiter responds.

"No."

The two of them stare at each other, reading each other carefully. Finally, the waiter speaks.

"Then I'd recommend the turkey sandwich."

The man orders the sandwich, and the waiter walks away.

It would've been impossible for the man to not notice the waiter's suspicions, and suddenly he becomes aware that ordering that turkey sandwich could've been a very bad idea. He jumps up from his table and runs out of the restaurant.

Walking through town, the man realizes he needs to get moving on the case, and quick. Several locals stare at him as he tries his best to blend in, failing horribly. He turns a corner, and STANDING THERE IS A CREEPY OLD WOMAN.

"Hellllloooooooo," says the creepy old woman.

"Ma'am," says the man, "I'm here investigating the disappearances of four pieces of wicker furniture."

The creepy old woman's eyes light up. "Furrrnnniture, huh? No pieces of furniture here."

"I know that. They disappeared. But they WERE here."

"I don't know what you're talkinngggggg about."

The man gives up and continues on, glancing back once to see the cold stare of the creepy old woman. He soon finds a trail and follows it into a forest, where he momentarily gets lost before coming across an important-looking box.

"That box looks important," he says to himself.

After glancing around to see if anybody's watching and then determining that the coast seems clear enough, the man opens the box, and what is inside but a bunch of BEES!

Screaming and covering his face, the man runs away, thinking maybe he should just call off this investigation. After all, it's just wicker furniture he's looking for -- but no, it's not JUST wicker furniture. It's stylish AND low maintenance. As the man wrestles himself with this inner debate, he finds himself in a clearing. It's not an empty clearing, though. It's occupied by dozens, no, hundreds of people. It appears the entire town is there. Sure enough, he sees the waiter AND the creepy old woman standing in the crowd.

Then he sees smoke emerging from the middle of the crowd. He runs toward the circle, pushing aside townspeople to see what's going on, and what's in the middle? What is the source of the smoke? What is the object that is now a fiery mess?

A 4 PIECE SET OF JACK POST WICKER FURNITURE. As a chant from the townpeople emerges, the man realizes that they are SACRIFICING THE WICKER FURNITURE!

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo," he calls out. "Don't you know that this Jack Post 4-Piece Resin Wicker Chat Set is made of rattan wicker and is excellent for social gatherings such as drinking beer on the porch or playing checkers!?"

But the townspeople don't listen and the fire continues, burning the wicker, and the man drops to his knees and cries.

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Features

  • Wicker furniture set
  • Stylish and low maintenance
  • Made of rattan wicker
  • Includes two chairs, bench, and coffee table

Shipping Note: Shipping to Alaska, Hawaii, PO Boxes and APO addresses not available for this item

Warranty: 1 Year Jensen

Specs

Specifications
Dimensions: 46.5" x 16.5" x 28.5"
Weight: 87 pounds

 Jack Post GA-393JE 4-Piece Resin Wicker Chat Set:

  • (2) Chairs
  • (1) Bench
  • (1) Coffee Table

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
11m 1.004s
First Sucker:
jester1122
Last Wooter to Woot:
Smay78

Purchaser Experience

  • 8% first woot
  • 0% second woot
  • 22% < 10 woots
  • 25% < 25 woots
  • 45% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 5% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 1% one month old
  • 3% one year old
  • 89% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 96% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 0% bought 3

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

1%
3%
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4%
1%
3%
0%
10%
10%
4%
7%
5%
8%
4%
4%
4%
1%
7%
5%
1%
5%
5%
1%
4%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Jack Post 4-Piece Resin Wicker Chat Set
$369.99 Sold Out Home & Garden
$369.99 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 3
Woot! Tools.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.