Travel to a magical new place! "Up There!"

Key moments in the history of Up There:

1624: Italian Explorer Marco Jumparizzo first discovers Up There when he bends his knees and then straightens them quickly, essentially pushing off from the ground. He repeats this technique that will later be named after him (the jump) but never manages to get any footing. In his journal he writes, "I yearn to visit Up There for longer than a moment, but it seems that Up There does not desire me as a resident. Mama-mia!" (Translated from the italian by Dr. Redriff Wilson.)

1819: Swedish Physician Aiden Bjornstov, being an exceptionally tall man (well over 7 feet), becomes the first man to live Up There full-time. Or so some believe. Others disagree. Can a man considered to be living in Up There if it is only the top his head the crests its territory? And what about at night, when Bjornstov lays down Down Here like everyone else? At any rate, when he attempts to renew his medical license he receives a not very kind letter informing him that, "You'll have to register as a doctor Up There, since you love it so much!" (Translated from the Swedish by Dr. Cynthia Tendlebum.)

1972: amateur British astronaut Jill Hildera attempts to build a craft that she can use to colonize Up There. She loads it up with enough fuel to remain hovering at Up There level for three years, but runs into trouble when the craft burns all of its fuel all at once, sending her soaring much higher than she had planned. Three days after take-off, her partner on the ground, Nigel Harlathorn, receives a single transmission before never hearing from her again. It states simply, "I have discovered Way Up There." (Translated from the British by Dr. Ternston Hernston.)

2015: American consumer Hillary Banks purchases a Little Giant Ladder from Woot.com. She climbs to the top and sits Up There for three hours. Upon returning, she tells her roommate Diane Murphy, "It's fine, I guess." (Translated from the American by Dr. Flirh Rohar.)

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