Remote controlled door lock? Man. Getting pizza delivered to your couch just got even EASIER to manage.

ding dong

klik klik

H-hello? Is anyone there? I-it's the pizza guy!

"Yeah, kid! Back here! I'm fifty feet away on the couch! Come on through!"

Um, are you sure it's okay? That I just walk into your house like this?

"Okay? Ha! It's perfect! Why do you think I bought this SimpliciKey in the first place? It was my ultimate goal to be able to unlock my door from up to fifty feet away, and now, I've achieved it! Hey, take a left at the bookshelf, okay? It's kind of a maze, this place."

Do I turn left or right at the pile of dirty dishes?

"That's a good question! I think left, but I haven't been that far in ages. See, once I bought my SimpliciKey, I reached the perfect point where I could control everything from my couch. Sure, some people would just use it to unlock the house from their garage or driveway, but I'd rather just use it the way it was clearly intended: to help me relax. By the way, do you see a skeleton holding a Netflix envelope?"

Um... oh, yeah. I see him.

"Sweet! Can you bring that with you? That's the postman and he kinda got lost trying to bring it to me."

How long IS this maze, anyway?

"No more than 50 feet in every direction. That's so I can use my remote anywhere! Incidentally, you might want to leave a few breadcrumbs or something, just so you can find your way back. Oh, and watch for the giant spider?"

The WHAT?

"Kidding! Kidding! At least I think I am. I haven't really left this couch for a long time."

klik klik

What was that?

"Hmm? Oh, just locking the door. Don't worry, I'll let you out as soon as I get my pizza. Now come to me, my minion. Come. To. Me."

Dude.

"Okay, okay, sorry. Say, if you pass a skeleton holding a six-pack, can you grab that too? My buddy made a beer run four months ago and never came back."

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