Somewhere off the coast of Normandy, Johan Wee d'Eater stepped from his longboat and raised high his mighty battle axe, H'dgetrim'r. Before him, his foes cowered.

Johan Wee d'Eater, of course, was of a different age. An age when heroes such as himself and Trimmer McCulloch would do battle with the druids who meant to enhedge the world. Today, there are no magic forces pushing plants to march on citizens. Plants are our friends!

But that doesn't mean we've got to just let down our guard, right?

Remember, in all our veins runs the blood of Johan Wee d'Eater. Without his effort, where would we be? Enslaved by men who believed strawberries could vote? Because that's what Stonehenge was, boys and girls. The place where the druids registered strawberries for an upcoming election. Is that REALLY the action we want to encourage?

Be vigilant, young heroes. With an extended 22 inch heat treated dual action blade at your side, you'll be able to remind the doom trees and harm bushes that, if they push their brambles too far into mammal business, you'll send 'em right back to the shrub from whence they came.

Just like Johan did, in that foul, unkept madness from long ago

Back to top