Gather around, children. Great Grampa wants to tell you the story about how he and his trimmer crossed America.

It all started back in Ought 14, you see. I was just a lad with a trimmer. I saw the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. I tried to run to her, but I was holding a normal corded trimmer, and I couldn't leave my post! And that woman, she passed me by. The very next day, I bought a WORX Lithium Cordless Grass Trimmer And Edger.

As luck would have it, she passed me again, on the bus! Well, I knew my job was to trim the grass and edge the shrubs near the walk, but nobody said where I had to do this job! So I took off, fast as I could, still trimmin' and edgin' as I went. Ran my heart out, I did.

Sadly, that bus went to a rocket that went to the International Space Station. I still remember her sad eyes behind the space helmet when our eyes met across the solid rocket booster. But I wasn't givin' up! No, sir!

I got my trimmer and took hold of the comfortable D handle and I went state to state, trimming and edging, edging and trimming. And by the time I was done, I had carved my phone number into the grasses of this great land of ours. Sure enough, the next day as the ISS passed over in a routine orbit, I got a call. And we had our first date the very night she was released from quarantine two weeks after returning to Earth.

And on that date? I fell in love with the waitress, your Great Grandmother! Just goes to show. Don't get tied down to anything. Not even a grass trimmer.

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